| Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father
When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet water gets Chuck Noris.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. |
| |
|  *sneeze* That's about it.  |
| |
| I know its been a while... but xanga was practicly begging me for me to update... So Im doing it a favor... Let's see... Blah blah blah... the usual stuff... and... BOOM!!! Life its me hard!!! It turns out that I still need to turn in papers for the football game... the director just keeps bitchin and bitchin about how Im gonna get fired... lmao... fired... all Donald Trump... but yea... I need to turn in some permission forms and stuff... If not I wont be able to go to a football game... like the previous one we had... I wish I went... they say they had alot of fun... lol... awww... memories Im never gonna remember cuse I was never there... stupid Rodrigez... alright... So... now Im lost... well... whatever... Im gonna go be a bandgeek and practice somewhere... see ya!! *didnt grammar check* -Jesus *so dont bitch:D* |
| |
| Hey whats up ppl!!! Im doing alright nothing new... other than improves arent sucking as much as they use to... or I think so... If you havent heard my latest improve ask danny... he's got it... and summer has been alright... I hate being in attention though... and my neck and body are a total differnt color... lol... thats not cool... and It was cool... when we were marching on the track... cuse... rodrigez once told use if some one got in our way.. to push or move them out the way... so when i was the track... they made use treverse alot... and he just happened to be on the direction I was treversing... Boom!!! I hit him... it was cool... he just looked shocked a little... wondering who it was... he couldnt do anything about it... after that he stop getting in my way... and right now... Im just waiting for it to be tomorrow ... I dont know if I should got to stephs sweet 16 though... hmmmmm.... welll bye... and I updated just for you gaby... <3
-Jesus |
| |
Xanga Codes